Friendships possess the greatest potential for joy and satisfaction! Sadly, they also have great potential to bring the worst of pain. Therefore, it’s important for everyone, especially Christians, to be attentive in the matter of how we interact in our friendships. Over the years of reading God’s Word, I have grown to understand that the apostles go to great lengths instructing believers on the many and varied facets of friendships, in fact, in all relationships.
As the apostle Paul began writing his closing benediction for his first letter to the Thessalonian Christians, he includes a critically important plea for all believers to value others. From chapter 5, verse 12 through to verse 20, Paul gives 17 “to do’s” for all believers to give attention to. When put in practice, these “to do’s” produce healthy relationships and a strong testimony of the church for Jesus Christ. In verse 14, he gives a 4 pronged instruction where we all qualify in at least 1 facet, if not more. Likewise, all our friends will fit into at least 1 of these characteristics.
Here they are; we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all (1 Thessalonians 5:14). No human is ever completely outside of these parameters, often kept secret, but none-the-less present. Paul urged his readers to pay attention to these inescapable components of life and friendships. Not only was this a strong exhortation, but one that in the original language demanded believers “to call near” those who are idle, fainthearted, or weak. And Paul understood that to get near to friends with these dispositions would require patience. In other words, humility, while recognising our own vulnerabilities in these same areas.
Paul writes with the affection of a spiritual brother to his siblings in Christ. He’s experienced enough of life and the transforming gospel to recognise our human nature which lingers within our flesh following salvation. Therefore, he is not shy in calling believers to act with the grace of Christ in persevering patiently with one another for mutual strength, unity, and joy.
We are to admonish, to encourage, and to help. While none of us are ever beyond needing at least 1 of these verbs to be actioned towards us, Paul calls each of us to intentionally be doing these to others. This is not passive, nor does it allow for personal preference to justify neglect in these matters. Just as Christ patiently works in each of our lives to sanctify us, so our patient investment in others’ lives forms a critical part of our own sanctification. When we neglect others who are finding Christian life difficult, we neglect our own development of Christlike character.
I have often found in my life, that in admonishing, encouraging, and helping others, I receive all 3 in return. Which is precisely the blessing Paul expected. He wrote this to the believers in Rome, for I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you – that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine (Romans 1:11-12). And again, let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding (Romans 14:19).
Applying admonition, encouragement, and help, requires only a little thought and grace, as to how to step into others’ lives without being a bully. We don’t want to overwhelm anyone, but we do want to uplift and refresh others, so that they know you care, just as Christ cares for them. This will joyfully honour the Lord, strengthen the church, and amplify the testimony of Christ to the world.
