Two thirds through his first letter, having just given instructions for healthy marriages, the apostle Peter writes a relationship summary packed with helpful values and ideas for families of all types. Regardless of who the body of people are, these principles will benefit those who practice them. But the greatest potential for blessing rests with God’s people who apply these to attitudes and behaviour.
Peter writes, Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing (1 Peter 3:8-9).
Regardless of whether it’s your biological family, or the family of God in your local church, Peter’s words form the foundation of sweet family life. Here, every believer in the family of God is treated with equality. There are no special or favoured groups, and no one is excluded or overlooked. Both the instructions and the expected degree of compliance are the same for each and every believer of all ages.
Peter presents 7 qualities that should undergird the entire Christian life, but especially, they are to be focused on our family relationships. At home and in the assembly of believers, these 7 virtues serve as the vehicle for transporting all other truths spoken by Peter into our relationships. These 7 become the toolbox for Christians wishing to invest in the lives of their fellow believers. These are the tools of relational engagement that will bear fruit for Jesus Christ and blessing for God’s children. Here are the 7: unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, a humble mind, do not repay evil, bless those who hurt you.
Individually, these may sound alien by worldly thinking, but collectively, they form a relational structure that will grow the most wonderful friendships. And friendships are necessary for discipleship, for church and biblical maturity, and for evangelistic growth. All 7 are inward operations of the Holy Spirit, who desires to govern the unseen part of us for the purpose of manifesting outwardly in the visible world.
Neglect these 7, and fractured relationships soon develop. Apart from every area of our lives becoming easier as we grow in these qualities, these are necessary for us to be imitators of God as beloved children (Ephesians 5:1). Peter calls us to take up the responsibility of thinking and behaving as authentic believers in Jesus Christ as Lord. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps (1 Peter 2:2). This is who we are to be because this is who Christ is!
While this sounds nice, reality tells us that these Christlike attitudes are not easy or comfortable to develop. We will meet resistance from our fleshly hearts and from God’s enemies who reject His Word. Therefore, we lean into God’s Spirit for enablement through the sufficiency of God’s Word, believing that the necessary grace for advancement will be provided. We persevere by putting to death both the sins of our hearts and flesh. Similarly, we intentionally put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive (Colossians 3:12-13).
This is how families become healthy, and stay healthy. By this, genuine love that reflects Jesus Christ engages relationally with others and grow for His glory and our blessing.
