Lincoln

I encourage you to forgive the unforgivable. 

Today I shall speak of those deepest pains which are often considered unforgivable.  When considering the severest hurts and the practical implementation of forgiveness, remember that forgiveness:

• Does NOT mean legal action should never be pursued. 
• Does NOT mean separation from a physically or emotionally abusive person should never happen. 
• Does NOT mean that restoration is always possible. 
• Does NOT mean that all moral and legal wrongs are completely overlooked and treated as if they never existed. This form of unbiblical passivity can lead to long term damage by a perpetrator who has no intention of stopping their abuse (Rom 13:3-4). 

Even when an abuser is forgiven, you may not necessarily allow that person back into your trust or even fully release that person from the legal consequences of their sin (Crime dependent) – Much wisdom from the Lord is needed in such cases. 
Unfortunately, some abusers are so twisted in their sin, that they view your forgiveness as an opportunity to abuse you all over again, or to gain access to other vulnerable people in your life. Forgiveness does NOT mean that you become a push over for anyone who wants to abuse you!

You see, forgiveness is not about getting personal justice, or vengeance, or even getting what you want.  It’s about personally expressing God’s character, while letting God be God when dealing with the offender. It’s about trusting God’s justice more than man’s justice – His mercy in place of man’s anger. 

Forgiveness is about setting the offender free from personal animosity and personally inflicted consequences. It’s about giving up your desire for your aggressor to hurt like you hurt. It’s about allowing God the freedom to save some offenders through salvation, should He choose – and NOT holding a grudge against God should He regenerate a sinner that has hurt you. 

First and foremost, a Christian is one who has already confessed (1Jn 1:9) and been forgiven of their sin (Col 2:13) before holy God, that humanly speaking was unforgivable! As a forgiven sinner yourself, you are now equipped to do the same (Rom 5:5; Col 3:13).

Below are 4 daily disciplines which will assist to empower forgiveness:

• Design and verbalise forgiveness into your daily prayers (Mat 5:44).
• Be willing and ready to forgive a repentant person, losing count of offenses (Luk 17:3-4). 
• Don’t let anger determine forgiveness (Eph 4:26).
• Resist gossip about and mentally replaying the offenses (Eph 4:31-32).

I conclude this mini-series with 6 practical characteristics of a forgiver from Romans 12:14-21

• Bless – do not return abuse.   :14 ”Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”
• Empathise with others.   :15 ”Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” 
• Live humility toward others.   :16 ”Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”
• Do not treat others as you are treated.   :17-18 ”Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” 
• Trust God’s Justice.    :19 ”Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord”  (Deu 32).  
• Administer Mercy as God Does.   :20-21 “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Pro 25:21-22) 

Today, I encourage you to forgive the unforgivable, for God’s glory and everyone’s blessing. 

I encourage you to prioritise forgiveness.

Once we prioritise forgiveness, the goals become God’s glorification, then reconciliation – not the other way round. As God’s character and reputation is at the heart of this whole matter, we obviously do not want to “grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” Instead, “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:30-32).

Sadly, there will be those at odds with us who won’t be interested in confession of sin, forgiveness, or reconciliation. They simply don’t seem to care, choosing to prioritise self before all else. However, God’s grace still rests upon us to do the thing that exemplifies the Lord’s character best – forgive!

You see, even the world can forgive, but it’s motivation is self-desire in order to get relief from the emotional pain. Not so with Christian forgiveness.  Christ-like forgiveness is motivated by a desire to embody God’s character, enabling Him to get acknowledged as the source. Remember, forgiveness grows out of love! Love for the Lord first, then love for others second. Self has little to do with this.

Motivating Love

Jesus informed His disciples;  “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John 13:34). Loving others is not new; however, loving others with Christ-like love is. At the most basic level, this speaks of selfless love, ‘agape’ love, which looks to receive no gratification, no vindication, and no personal justice, but is content simply to forgive.

Obviously, the expression of love is essential for the believer, meaning, it needs to be expressed regardless of the outcome. Therefore, the recipient’s acceptance or rejection of our forgiveness is not factored into the equation for forgiveness.

With love as the motivating priority; “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:14-15). Listed here are the accumulative relational implications; peace, holiness, grace, bitterness, trouble, and defilement. These are all issues to be considered when selfless forgiveness is NOT practiced. You see, forgiveness is NOT about us, it’s about the Lord’s renown, and about setting the other person free from your resentment.

A Dose of Reality

The application of Christ-like and loving forgiveness doesn’t always look pretty or feel exciting; particularly when the other party doesn’t admit to fault, and prevents reconciliation. Never-the-less, the child of God forgives! Why, because forgiveness is primarily for God’s glory, His pleasure, His exultation before the angels (Eph 3:10), and the good testimony of His Gospel and His church. Whereas, unforgiveness is all about us; our rights and entitlement, our dignity, our sense of justice, our vindication, and our satisfaction – and do we ever pay a high price for hanging onto unforgiven offenses.

Only prioritised forgiveness will enable you to genuinely “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45a). “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34). The fact is, following Christ demands self-denial and cross carrying. Both are extremely painful and necessary for forgiveness to be a reality. Only then is Christ honouring reconciliation possible, in His timing and in the circumstances that He orchestrates.

Today, I encourage you to prioritise forgiveness for the sake of God’s glory!

Continuing next week with more application…

 

I encourage you, God enables the offended to forgive.

When the ability to forgive eludes you, and unforgiveness has grown into a monster making it seem that there is no escaping the nightmare? In this matter of forgiveness, the human heart can be extremely deceptive, particularly when influenced by sin (Jer 17:9). However, God’s resources for enabling forgiveness, even during the severest of circumstances, are as trustworthy as His holy character. As always, access to His resources is by faith and founded upon Scripture.

First Principle Enabling You to Forgive

It’s essential to have received the Saviour’s forgiveness yourself. Have you been to Jesus for life changing and eternal cleansing? Can you clearly recall the occasion when you believed, falling broken before Holy God, confessing your total inability to satisfy His holy requirements? Do you remember confessing your sinfulness, admitting that Jesus Christ died on the Cross of Calvary in your place, suffering your penalty for sin? Did you surrender the ownership of your life unconditionally to the Lord Jesus Christ?

While most people willingly forgive inconsequential misdemeanours, it takes divine empowerment to deal with the crushing offenses.  As those who have been forgiven by Christ; “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Christians forgive because they have been forgiven!

Second Principle Enabling You to Forgive

Invite the Holy Spirit to captivate you with the doctrine of propitiation! Realise that Christ “is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:2). You see, failing to forgive others violates Christ’s appeasement of God’s wrath against your sin. 

“In this is love… God sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another”. Since we are the recipients of God’s peace, we are therefore to be ambassadors of His propitiation and peace.

“If we love one another (with propitious love), God abides in us and his love is perfected in us” (1 John 4:10-12). To forgive others of offenses requires that we value the greatest truths which equip us for passing on divine forgiveness. Because God was appeased of our offense, we want our offenders to taste the sweetness of God’s peace through us because of Jesus Christ. 

Third Principle Enabling You to Forgive

Ensure that Jesus Christ is Lord over every facet of your life. Surrender to God’s will in this matter of forgiveness is essential. Christ’s supremacy and sufficiency needs to dominate your motives. You will have to relinquish all rights to hold onto unforgiveness. Don’t believe the lie that says ‘you only forgive those who ask forgiveness.’ Forgiveness not only reflects our relationship with God, it’s also a matter of obedience.

Obedience Empowers You to Forgive

Jesus instructed His disciples; “whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11:25). Jesus was not speaking of eternal forgiveness; rather, He was referring to daily relational forgiveness which impacts our Christian walk. Likewise He said; “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37). Forgiveness remains a matter of obedience! 

As believers, we are not entitled to assume God’s role as judge. We are however, entitled to replicate our Saviour’s obedient love by forgiving. We are to do as Christ did; “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).

I encourage you; “forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13).

 

I encourage you to pursue genuine love that forgives

Worldly wisdom doesn’t allow for the love of Jesus Christ which forgives. No revenge, no desire for personal justice, and no festering resentment, that’s God’s way. In Christ, you can put grudges to death for the sake of Jesus renown. The child of God turns “to forgive and comfort” because they don’t want the guilty person to “be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow”. Rather, Christians want “to reaffirm love” (2 Corinthians 2:7-8) in order to aid the guilty person in repentance and reconciliation.

The sad scenario of self-vindicating unforgiveness

It started with you perceiving an offense, whether intentional or not, you experienced pain. A sense of indignation rose to the highest emotional level, then self-defence kicked in and self-vindication began. You began interpreting the original offense as a personal attack. So, the heart began recording all the damming evidence against the offender.

Throughout the growing offense, personal innocence is assured by self and sin, as responsibility is not accepted for any wrong responses. Your vengeful motives, hurtful speech, and malicious actions, are all overlooked. Sin assures you that you are justified in your wrong behaviour by declaring you innocent. Then, sin informs you that slandering the other person is OK. You see, sin has it all figured out. Any amount of damage caused to as many people as necessary is justified in the relentless pursuit of self-vindication, and self-promotion.

What may have begun as an innocent and unintentional happening turns into full-blown war. Sin swears it’s allegiance to your cause. It will faithfully see you through to utter ruin and self-destruction in the name of self-vindication. Sin evaluates and concludes your personal innocence while calling divine judgment upon your offender. Any others who will not take your side must like-wise suffer your justice. Indeed, sin is the faithful companion of unforgiveness – till death do you part.

The beauty that forgives

However, forgiveness releases the offender from personal liability and any debt requiring repayment or correction. Forgiveness halts feelings of resentment, animosity and anger toward the offender. Forgiveness sets them free, while setting you at calm toward them (This also applies when legal justice, restitution, or safety issues need to be worked through).

As love is the founder of forgiveness, so unforgiveness proves the absence of love. In fact, hatred is at the heart of unforgiveness, even robbing you of the desire to be forgiven. But not so with the child of God who forgives!

The supremacy of love that forgives

Scripture tells us that “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:5). Therefore, Holy Spirit generated love reflects God’s loving nature instead of the world’s idea of love. God’s love behaves differently, it “does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Because love rejects the harbouring of unforgiveness, acknowledging it as sinful, and dishonouring to the Lord.

Make no mistake; forgiving costs, it can hurt! As the humble road is taken, as personal preferences are denied, and as the negative whispers of others are ignored, self loses. However, this is the only path sanctification knows. This is the Christ exalting road transforming us “from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Today, let the world see the Christ who forgives in you; “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44-45). Be like Jesus Christ, who, “when he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten” (1 Peter 2:23).

Continuing next week… 

 

I encourage you to live in forgiveness for Jesus sake

Forgiveness has to be worked through by everybody at some point, and often with monotonous regularity. Unfortunately, the human heart deceitfully works against us by naturally wanting to hold onto the pains of offense. The reality is that forgiveness, or the lack of it, affects every relationship in life and determines their quality. Its presence, or absence, can dramatically alter both physical and emotional health, with life changing consequences.

However, Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness cuts against every human inclination, and surpasses human reasoning. The two sides of this critical part of Christian living are a willingness to forgive, and a desire to be forgiven, with the source of both being self-sacrificing love (Agape).

First and foremost; spiritually speaking, heart regeneration is required in order to equip us for genuine and long lasting power to forgive, while also wanting to be forgiven.

Love and forgiveness are synonymous, as are their counterparts. The apostle Paul reminds us; “if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13). The apostles’ point is simple; a believer in Jesus Christ, having personally experienced the Lord’s eternal forgiveness through the Cross of Calvary, will forgive others when offended. Why, because, above all other virtues, genuine believers “put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14).

Love puts others first. Love never wishes the pain that it has suffered to be experienced by others. Love is ready to forgive, ready to seek reconciliation, ready to restore peace and unity. Love is also strong enough to dispense forgiveness while working through any required matters of justice or restitution. Therefore forgiveness, like love, is never conditional, especially while its application is being worked through.

Genuine, self-sacrificing love refuses to pick up the reproaches of others. As Paul put into practice with the Corinthian Christians; “Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:10). This is precisely what Paul promoted when writing to Philemon regarding the run-away slave Onesimus; “If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account” (Philemon 1:18).

You see, Christian love relinquishes all rights to hold onto offense or to seek retaliation. The genuine love of Christ in a believer duplicates Christ; “when he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23). Christ living in a Christian never lashes out or builds us ammunition in preparation for an attack. The child of God knows that “God, through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18). Christians reconcile, they do not go to war! They love through forgiveness, even if at their own expense, as it was for Christ.

The bottom line is this; the lover of Christ prioritises, and surrenders to the supremacy of God’s love as the apostle Paul reminds us. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

To be continued…